Lily Luna Potter's Diary
by Mrs. Pepper Stark
Summary: Lily Luna Potter finally decides to keep a Diary, after the constant nagging from Rose; she can't take listing to Lily's constant remarks about Scorpius, so this diary holds her thoughts and dreams. A dream that may never come true- but it might, if the time is right.
1. Day 1

Dear Diary, (Day one)

I have the most dangerous crush on Scorpius Malfoy. It's his eyes, it's always been his eyes. Since first day I saw him at Hogwarts, when I first saw him- I thought something, something that felt like I never thought it; it was like something was whispering inside my head telling me what to think, these are the exact words the foreign voice whispered to me in that moment; _'He's cute,'_

Since then, Scorpius Malfoy thinks I'm a stalker; or at least- that's what I think he thinks about me. Now, you are probably wondering why I would ever think of such a thing. Every second or day I see him I stare at him; it's quite obvious or at least I think it is. That time we all had to watch a movie at dinner in our house, when he was over; you see- he's Albus best friend, but anyway- the lights where off and I was sitting behind them both. He was lying on the floor next to my brother, but he kept his head up by his arm.

My eyes had moved towards his hands which I saw almost perfection; it makes me blush just thinking about it. His hands where large, but not giant; his nails where perfectly cut and I couldn't see an inch of dirt anywhere. Even his white oval shapes on the top of his nails where the all exactly the same, his blonde side fringe just stops above his beautiful grey eyes. Anyway back to the point; He's seen me staring more times than even I can remember. When Hogwarts put on a school play for the first time ever this year, he had a part where it was just him speaking; I couldn't stop staring, he looked ridiculous with plastered white make up across his already porcelain face. Towards the end, actually- I think it was the end they were all on stage smiling towards their audience, as I was sat next to Ginny, my mum- and Harry on my other side; I hardly looked up at all throughout the play.

Yet, when I looked up that time I couldn't help but stare at him, as he's so- so there's not even a word to describe him; he saw me staring, from the corner of his eyes; and he quickly looked the other way. This isn't the only time, but I think it stands out most because he noticed me; even if I was in the very few first rows of the audience, he saw me looking. We've had two conversations since, and I had to ask him to repeat himself both times; which makes me seem so stupid; but when he talks I can't hear him, I only see his face; it makes my heart drop a million miles knowing he won't ever date his little brother's sister.

He's taken over my life, even Rose agrees with me; Rose is my absolute best friend in the whole wide world. I've been sorted into Gryffindor; He's in Slytherin with Albus. At least James is a Gryffindor as well. Have you ever noticed someone's' hips before? Well, I've noticed Scorpius', and they are so sexy cute. So, the reason I've decided to create this 'diary' was so Rose can stop nagging me to stop talking about him and all my other worries to her, I must say- So far, it's working great! I have to give Rose more credit, especially for all the muggle information she gives me, according to my dad; she's exactly like her mother was at her age.

Well, I'll write more tomorrow. Since it's mid-term break, according to Albus, Scorpius will be coming over tomorrow. Let's hope I don't make a fool of myself, Maybe I should send a quick owl to Rose...

From Lily Luna Potter...


	2. Day 2

Dear Diary, (Day 2)

It was a disaster and a pretty predictable one at that two. He came at sunrise, just before breakfast. I had slept in, obviously. I couldn't find my favourite blue jumper in anywhere in my room, I just had to go down the stairs and yell to my mum in the kitchen. I remember wearing blue jeans and a black t-shirt, my hair wasn't combed yet let alone my makeup. As soon as I had walked down those stairs and yelled to her I saw him. I saw him without any makeup, proper clothing or hair accessories, I took one look at Scorpius and nearly gasped in surprise; hey, wait a minute- I had gasped in surprise!

"What is he doing here?" I had practically shouted, I wouldn't have said that if I had been fully awake, dressed and had Rose there with me. I quote his exact words I memorised of by heart, "Hi Lily..." I didn't even bother looking in Albus' direction when I could only stare at him and his grey eyes. My mum finally entered the room and practically throw my blue jumper, my brother was smirking so much I had thought his face would fly into a million pieces, it's almost as if he had read my diary the night before.

His hair today, I couldn't explain with a million words how gorgeous it looked hanging across his forehead. The next thing I had done was purely unforgettable; and I wish I could take it all back. I had put on my jumper without zipping it up, the whole time not even looking away from him once. I had taken a step forward and ran my fingers through his side fringe. I hadn't even realized I had done this till it was over; the look of shock on his face was enough for me to come back to the real world.

"Lily Luna Potter, get off that boy right now!" I had heard a deep voice say, it had been my father. His dark green eyes where full of laughter that made me squirm. "I had no idea you were into my best friend." Albus tells me mockingly, I don't answer either of them as I take a final glance at Scorpius who's still in shock. I don't run back to my room, I walk casually trying to seem like I was cool about it and had planned all of my actions, but I hadn't, and you know what?

Scorpius had known I was into him, all along. He had tried to ignore me, all the glances I stole; he understood. He knew I was crushing on him and I still am. I didn't regret my actions one bit, it felt so right to run my fingers through his blonde hair that I couldn't care less. Well, until I heard them whispering to each other later.

"_Dude, she's my sister- are you going to date her?" Albus tells him, I wish I could have seen their faces. "I never told you this- anyone before, but I go both ways. So I don't really know." Scorpius tells him, my heart stops, he goes both ways? "Oh, I won't tell anyone, but that doesn't answer my question." Albus says in a tone that is almost full of anger. _

"_I've seen her looking at me before; so many times I can't remember them all. I tried to ignore her, but this has been going on for months and now this? She ran her fingers through my hair Albus! She's that desperate!" _

I couldn't have waited and heard what else Scorpius said to Albus, I had learnt way too much already. He goes both ways, he has noticed all the times I've looked at him, and he does think I'm a desperate stalker. What am I going to do? I tried to talk to Rose, but she was out for the day. I could really use some advice right now.

From Lily Luna Potter...


	3. Day 3

Dear Diary, (Day 3)

With what's been happening lately, I can't believe I forgot to tell you my age, I'm 14 years old. Which means that Scorpius, is 16 and that also concludes that my brother, Albus is 16 as well, but James is 17. Rose finally came over today, much to my joy. Here's what I remember. Oh, did I mention around me there always seems to be some kind of disaster?

"_Lily?" She had asked gently knocking my door, I go and open the door for the first time since yesterday. I haven't left my room since. Rose takes one look at me and shuts the door fast, then she takes my hand and leads me to my own bed, where we both sit down together. Rose looks straight into my eyes and I can see that her blue eyes are filled with concern. "He knew, the whole time. Yesterday; I got to desperate." I finally tell her, noticing that she's left her red hair out, when she normal puts it in a pony tail. I laugh remembering Uncle Ron's reaction when she got placed into Hufflepuff, he actually went to the headmaster. _

"_Lily, no offense, but why would you laugh about that? So what did you do? It's not like you just walked up to him and kissed him." Rose repeats, the tears finally fall down my face, the salt is so easy to taste when the last tear drops into my mouth. "You're right. I didn't kiss him, I- I ran my fingers through his hair." I say, feeling my voice crack in despair at how stupid I had sounded. "You, you ran your fingers through his hair! What? I haven't even done that with my own boyfriend yet! Lily! That was so- you shouldn't have done that but, how did you know he knew the whole time?" She asks, my tears start again; I thought friends were supposed to say that it wasn't that bad. The only thing that makes me snort is seeing Rose is wearing a purple jumper with a green singlet and a pink ruffled skirt with black leggings. She must have gotten dressed in a rush._

"_I listened into them later in the day! I quote them from here on, _"_Dude, she's my sister- are you going to date her? Albus had said. Then Scorpius had actually replied Rose! I never told you this- anyone before, but I go both ways. So I don't really know. Scorpius had told him, my heart had stopped. It took Albus less than a second to reply. Oh, I won't tell anyone, but that doesn't answer my question." Albus had said in a tone that is almost full of anger. I've seen her looking at me before; so many times I can't remember them all. I tried to ignore her, but this has been going on for months and now this? She ran her fingers through my hair Albus! She's that desperate! I couldn't listen to them any longer Rose, I couldn't have." I say acting out what I thought they would have looked like, Rose's facial features had changed almost to suddenly._

"_Rose, Rose please help! I'm crushing on my brother's best friend!" My face turns into shock mode, I hadn't said that, I turn around to see Scorpius and Albus standing in the door way. "You know Albus, what amazes me is that she remembered our exact words. So, what do you like best about me? Don't be shy." Scorpius mocks me, I can't bear this any longer. I spill it all out, a diary would have never ever hold all my problems, I still remember ever single detail. _

"_Those grey eyes of yours Scorpius, they are gorgeous. I love your blonde hair that you always part on your left side. Your hands, are absolute perfection. Let alone your-" I stop there, I hadn't couldn't have said that but, I had. Rose was nudging me so hard I thought I might have fallen over._

"_Wow. Never knew someone could be so into me, but Lily. I really want to know. Let alone my what?" He asks, his grey eyes shine with laughter and Albus is actually laughing. I knew I shouldn't have whispered the next word, but I wanted to make him mine. All mine. "Hips." I can't believe I had actually said that allowed, that made Scorpius shut up. His mouth was hanging open and so was Albus'. Even Rose had seemed to be surprised. _

"_Albus, I can't take this anymore! My hips? She's been staring at my body Albus!" He had shouted, he went up to me, then stoked my hair with his own fingers that sent a shiver done my spine. "Look, Lily. How does this make you feel?" He asks, his voice cracks. I had answered honestly. "It makes me feel, like you're mine. All mine. It makes me feel happy, do you even understand the effect you have on me Scorpius?" His face was plastered with surprise, "Don't. Lily, just don't. If you want to still talk to me, never say my name around me again." He had responded. "Scorpius, please. It's been five months with this stupid crush! How can I not say your name? Scorpius, please Scorpius!" I had shouted as I see him take one last look at me and he left my room. Albus had looked at me once more before leaving, he gave me the kind of look that said 'how can you be my sister.' _

"_Lily, you- wow. That was messed up. Did you see his face? Lily?" Rose says, I hadn't answered her. I just had stood there, I hadn't moved for half an hour when Rose finally went to get my Mum. Once Ginny had entered the room she had took one look at me and showed me to my bed, where I sit writing this down now. We had a talk, I didn't tell her everything that happened. I could never tell my Mum that. I had told Scorpius why I love him, and he had told me never to speak to him again._

So, yeah, today was horrible. I don't think I'll ever leave my room again, or at least that is what I'd thought until my Mum, had given me a plan. _"If you love Scorpius as much as I love your father Lily. Use this plan, I had. Just date someone else, if it makes Scorpius jealous- he is into you, he was just in shock at how much you had been staring at him."_ Those where her exact words, and I can't wait to put it into action, because; you see- Lorcan has been into me forever, he even started flirting with me this year. So, Lorcan, get ready cause I'm about to rock your world. Oh, besides that- if it wasn't obvious enough, I'm going to pretend date him, and act like I'm in love, sure it will leave Lorcan speechless if I mess up, but it will still show me if Scorpius is into me. As my mum had actually told me, to gain something- you always need to lose something.

From Lily Luna Potter...

_**Author's note, once holidays start, which is in one week; I'll update every day; or at least try to, but when school is on I'll update once every week. Or, if you like; I could still update every day but they'd be very short chapters. No flames please, River Potter.**_


	4. Day 4

Dear Diary, (Day 4)

My plan was simple, really. Once I woke up, I grabbed a pair of scissors and went to a mirror, where I saw my red hair that stopped at the end of my waist, I grabbed it, put it into a loose pony tail, the hair band that had hold my hair, stopped at my chin. I cut all of my hair off so, whenever I look at myself in the mirror I see my long hair gone, it's now pixie short. I like it, even if it was a drastic change. I thank Hugo in my head for getting me green dye for Christmas last year, I hadn't been gain enough to do it yet, but I had today. I had stroked the liquid on the ends of my now short red hair, and even the end of my bangs, as for my fringe, I cut that a little shorter to, it had started to get a bit annoying covering my eyes all the time. I had followed the exact instructions on how to make the dye permanent, once I had finished this I stepped back to admire my work; I looked nothing like my old self, and I was glad.

I had called Rose to remind me where she got her ears pierced last summer, and was glad I saved all my money from my summer job. We went to the place she had gone previously, my parents and brothers had been out at the time so none of them had seen my drastic transformation, even Rose liked it. The guy had asked how many piercings I had wanted, I remember Rose whispering to the guy; I'm glad I had her- My parents will freak. I had literally gotten the full package, the nose piercing- the hoop at the top of my right ear, then on both my ears I had one stud, but on my right I had an extra one that was a diamond stud. It hadn't hurt that much, and surprisingly suited me very well. We even went on a shopping trip after, not that I had much money left; but Rose was a saver, and she had insisted too by me a whole new wardrobe.

The only condition was- she got to choose the style, it was all Goth clothing; which suited to me much to my suspicion. I had gotten lots of short skirts and black leggings, and a few low tops; but mostly where not that low. I had even gotten a new jacket, which I love and at the time I had actually hugged Rose so hard she had to tell me she couldn't breathe. The jacket was leather, and black. The sleeves stopped at my wrists and it was just awesome, it was about two sizes to big; but that meant I could wear it for longer and grow into it. I'm in my new clothes, and I just heard my brothers get home, among the voices I hear Scorpius; show time.

_What happened:_

"Lily, I just wanted to say sorry about earlier- I was way out of line." Scorpius tells me as he opens my bedroom door and he takes one look at me and nearly faints. I realize I'm lying on my bed; but that isn't what surprised him- it was my new look. "What?" I question him. It feels good to be in control, compared to what normally happens, soon Albus and James had come up to find Scorpius still gaping at me; and the two nearly had a hissy fit.

"Lily Luna Potter! Mum and Dad are going to kill you!" James shouts as he runs up to my bed and nearly smacks my face. "For your information, Mum approved." I say gently, well- she sort of approved. "You liked me that much?" Scorpius finally says, I raise my eyebrow at him. "What do you mean?"

"You changed your whole look, even your hair." He stutters, I grin at him evilly. "I didn't do this for you Malfoy. I needed a change. Why do you think the whole world is about you?" I had replied, making his grey eyes almost water. "Lily. I wish I could turn back the clock, do you know how strange it is to be stared at every moment of the day?" He replies gently, I almost scream at him. Almost. "Ha, well- If you don't mind, what is done is done and I quite like it. Now, if you would please move out of the way I have to go meet Hugo; I almost forgot." I had left my diary on the bed, this page wasn't written yet. He had read my diary when I was gone, to be fair- I would have read his. He even left me a note scribbled on parchment, and here is what it had said.

"_Lily, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. Your hair, that Lorcan loves so much; just please don't break his heart; I know your plan. It might work. I do go both ways, I lean more on the guy scale. I'm sorry I don't have the same feelings for you as you do for me. I'm a bit creped out about your earlier entries, about watching my hand, but you never thought I would read this. So, once again forgive me please. I have not one clue when it comes to this kind of thing, I just freak out."_

So as you see, when I came back from meeting Hugo, he was so surprised he had fainted; we had arranged to meet in the holidays but we never made an actual date, but Auntie Hermione always tells me I'm welcome whenever, I am sort of glad Rose was out. Hermione had told me she's glad I'm finding my own personality, I didn't question her further, but I know it's about my new look. I can't believe Scorpius read my private diary, he knows everything. All the times I stared, what I think of him. It bugs me, but I won't let this get in the way of my plan. -

My Dad just came in, he had knocked on my door just as I was about to finish my diary entry, once he walked in his eyes were filled with tears when he saw my new look. I don't know if he knows about what happened with Scorpius, but either way he's disappointed. I wonder what the teachers will think at Hogwarts, especially my Slytherin friends.

From Lily Luna Potter... 


	5. Author's Note

_**Hi guys, I'm seriously sorry for not updating. I suppose I don't have a real excuse. I'm going to be taking a break from Fan Fiction for a while considering it's school and I just have to much homework to update often enough. That and I have a crush, so I get extra distracted in class. I hope you guys understand, I'll try to update before December! :-)**_

_**From Mrs. Pepper Stark**_


	6. Final Authors note

Hi Everyone,

I'm sad to announce with the two years of VCE coming up I have to delete my Fan fiction account, but I thought, no. Why do that? So, I'll keep my account online so people can read my stories and still enjoy them or whatever. I want to continue writing but I just can't find inspiration anymore. It's gone. I may pick up writing after I finish VCE I just don't know at this moment in time.

Thank you for staying with me throughout my writing time at Fan Fiction, I hope you have enjoyed reading as much as I have enjoyed writing.

I wish you all well, and please don't be mad with me; I just can't write without the inspiration.

Lots of love,

Mrs. Pepper Stark.


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